[BlacKat]

This is something I've always been terrified of, and I've had it threatened before based on nothing more than the practitioner's personal biases/power trip. For starters, the idea of being held somewhere against my will, no matter what's going on in my life that I need to get to, no matter what I've done, terrifies me to begin with.

Beyond that...I know that several meds that can make me have mental illness symptoms that I didn't have before, as well as multiple practitioners who didn't want to believe that. I can't take SSRI's, I will go suicidal even if I wasn't anywhere near there before. I know I got stuck in that trap as a kid, where they kept feeding me more and more of the meds that were making me sick. And I'm terrified that they would do that again, and that it would be a reason to keep me locked up because my mental health would get worse.

It's basically keeping me from being able to really work with the mental health system. Because no matter how good a professional is, I'm not going to trust anyone but my very closest friends with that sort of power. I really do want help, but...after the experiences I've had with the mental health system, I don't feel like I can ever have the sort of relationship I'd need to develop the trust to let someone do that.