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sherlock holmes · 03-03-2014, 11:11 AM

Hi Ginger,

I'm glad that you have come to the realisation that you want to stop drinking in order to stop fighting with your boyfriend. I think that's a great first step!

I think it's important to keep in mind that although you've made this decision you'll still probably get the urges to drink or pick fights. Don't be scared if you do. It's going to take time to learn to deal with those urges.

It would be really helpful if you could think about what was driving you to get drunk in the first place. It could be your insecurity- then you'd need to work out why you get so insecure, and what you can do to lessen that.

It might be a good idea to find someone you can talk to about this, who can help you deal with your feelings so that you don't need to drink to cope with them. Perhaps you could see a therapist or counsellor?

I have similar insecurities. I am in a long term relationship with my boyfriend, and sometimes I find it really hard to accept that he loves me and I convince myself he'll leave me for someone better. I think I do this because I still don't like myself and therefore find it hard to believe anyone else could like me.

I think the key to sorting this type of insecurity out is to learn to love yourself. I'm trying to do this by feeling better about my body- I eat healthier so I stop feeling so sluggish, I exercise a couple of times a week to get the endorphins flowing which make me feel better (nature's own antidepressant!), when I look in the mirror I try to think about the things I like on my body rather than the things I don't like, doing relaxation to feel chilled out. I'm also in treatment for my mental health issues which is helping me feel more confident and giving me ways to deal with my worries other than self harming or feeling insecure.

I think also you should sit down with your partner and have a good talk. Communication is key in relationships. Ask him how he feels, how your behaviour makes him feel. Tell him you have recognised that what you're doing is hurting him and that you want to change. Think of things you can do together in order to heal your relationship.

03-03-2014, 11:11 AM	#2
sherlock holmes do you like my potato? Join Date: Mar 2004	Hi Ginger, I'm glad that you have come to the realisation that you want to stop drinking in order to stop fighting with your boyfriend. I think that's a great first step! I think it's important to keep in mind that although you've made this decision you'll still probably get the urges to drink or pick fights. Don't be scared if you do. It's going to take time to learn to deal with those urges. It would be really helpful if you could think about what was driving you to get drunk in the first place. It could be your insecurity- then you'd need to work out why you get so insecure, and what you can do to lessen that. It might be a good idea to find someone you can talk to about this, who can help you deal with your feelings so that you don't need to drink to cope with them. Perhaps you could see a therapist or counsellor? I have similar insecurities. I am in a long term relationship with my boyfriend, and sometimes I find it really hard to accept that he loves me and I convince myself he'll leave me for someone better. I think I do this because I still don't like myself and therefore find it hard to believe anyone else could like me. I think the key to sorting this type of insecurity out is to learn to love yourself. I'm trying to do this by feeling better about my body- I eat healthier so I stop feeling so sluggish, I exercise a couple of times a week to get the endorphins flowing which make me feel better (nature's own antidepressant!), when I look in the mirror I try to think about the things I like on my body rather than the things I don't like, doing relaxation to feel chilled out. I'm also in treatment for my mental health issues which is helping me feel more confident and giving me ways to deal with my worries other than self harming or feeling insecure. I think also you should sit down with your partner and have a good talk. Communication is key in relationships. Ask him how he feels, how your behaviour makes him feel. Tell him you have recognised that what you're doing is hurting him and that you want to change. Think of things you can do together in order to heal your relationship.
	Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back, everything is different… you once called your brain a hard drive, well say hello to the virus.