Thank you for your reply Katie,
I have a care coordinator and we're doing preparation for DBT together, which I'll start in Febrary, I know it will really help but I feel, quite often when I'm at my lowest ebb is when I'm alone - I can do quite a good job of being philosophical about things when I'm with my care coordinator, even though I always try to be honest I don't think I'm ever despairing, like I am now. I guess that's why the crisis team etc never take me seriously when I'm suicidal.
I have one friend, Tom, who is my best friend and very supportive but he's wanting to keep his distance at the moment - we meet once a week usually and I find it hard because I get so het up about making the most of time that invariably I end up in tears and I think he gets even more frustrated. That's how i read the situation anyway. Poor Tom, he's so busy with work at the moment and he must find it such a strain to be with me. I miss his company so much. I just feel so lonely tonight, but I feel lonely every night really. Sorry I know that sounds defeatist but I can hear people upstairs having a party, they sound like they're having so much fun and I wish I was them.
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