[Wellingtons]

I'm nearly 8 weeks pregnant - planned. However it has still come as a shock to the system, and I'm worrying about the post natal period, as I had such a hard time last time.

This pregnancy I have to learn to accept I will not have a choice over breastfeeding - the baby will have to be bottle fed from early on, perhaps breast fed the first week or two.

I'm worrying about coping with a newborn, toddler, and mental ill health, but have asked to stay with my current CMHT as I don't want to go back to my old peri natal MHT, which would feel like a backwards step.

Has anyone had a previous bad time with a child, but gone on to have a successful time of it second time round? Obviously this time forewarned is forearmed, I know there's no breastfeeding allowed, which is hard enough to deal with.

I just want to enjoy this pregnancy, but I can't, because I'm suddenly filled with worry, perhaps a sign that I had just shoved my head in the sand whilst planning the pregnancy.