Thanks for your reply! Diazepam does work but I am limiting myself with it because if I take it every single time I get anxious then I'll become dependent on it. I don't drive- my boyfriend drives me back to his! I do find exercise helpful, at the moment I've been going on 1-2 mile walks in big loops around my house. I like it because I listen to podcasts as I walk and it makes me feel good.
I do think stopping uni was a practical decision but also not great for my anxiety if you know what I mean. I had to stop because it was making me ill but at the same time it was the only thing getting me out of the house. So now I need to find new things to get me outside and socialising.
I can't transfer to the uni that's closer any more. I applied via UCAS and got rejected! So I'll be doing OU from october.
My CPN came to my house this morning as I felt too anxious to go there. We had a really good meeting and I actually feel really positive now!
She's going to refer me to coping skills/anxiety management and I'm probably going to get a support worker to help me out of the house and into situations that I want help dealing with like going to the supermarket, going into coffee shops, going on the bus etc plus my CPN will do that with me too so she said I should have someone to take me out at least 3 weeks out of 4.
She said that she likes my goal of wanting to be well enough to move in with my boyfriend by christmas and that she can see I want to do it. She said that it's important I build a life for myself in the town my boyfriend lives in so that when I move there I feel comfortable. She suggested finding adult education classes etc so I can make friends. She said that she can even take me over to the town so we can spend half a day there getting used to it!
She said that I need to keep going to my boyfriend's at the weekends and pretty much just getting through the panic attacks, because staying at home wont help my anxiety. I agree with her but obviously I am nervous about it!
I just cant believe that I'm being offered so much support. I've gone from nothing to this and I want to cry with relief! She said I've got to work my socks off but I will, I so badly want to recover and get my life back.
She said don't worry they wont discharge me until I'm ready! And that the CMHT in my boyfriend's town are brilliant so they will be able to transfer me there when I move.
So much to process and think about. I've got to write a list of things I want to do for next time we meet. She said she'd even take me swimming if I wanted to go!
My homework is to look at adult education classes and see if there's anything I fancy doing.
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