It might be a good idea to try taking to Zoe or your dad? It sounds like it would really help to have some support around you at the moment.
Do you know why it is so difficult to talk to her?
I understand how difficult it is to stop drinking, and although it may be a choice, it is similar to self-harm which is also a choice, but many people find it difficult to stop. Is there anything that helps with you drinking less?
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