So much drama :(
There's 2 younger guys who have been hanging around me asking questions, asking me to rate them out of ten, joking around with our names, and generally just hanging around me too long even when I'm literally sitting with headphones in. Then there's a man in his 50s who does the same, but sits too close and stares and won't go. Then there's the guy I'm good friends with, whose partners funeral is tomorrow but he's always touching me and asking leading questions and text me saying dream of me. Then there's the 2 guys in their 40s who just want to look after me but won't let me just sit outside 'cause it's too cold' so won't leave me alone, trying to father me. Then there's the kid always with everyone else who had no clue what's going on so talks at the same as everyone else and never shuts up.
And tonight it got too much. I told D he needs to be careful, I'm married, he has the funeral tomorrow and needs to think of that not me, that I'll be his friend. The older man wouldn't leave me alone, sitting too close. The older 2 telling me they wouldn't go in until I did or they would carry me in. The nurse came out to see if I was ok/would go in and I was upset, I asked him to make them go away so he did. But I came to put my phone on charge and they were all shouting. R was shouting at D and I feel so bad cause D doesn't need that.
The nurse gave me prn. Told me I'm a pretty girl and that's why, but if I feel uncomfortable they can be spoken to. He's going to ask my nurse to talk to me tomorrow about it, but she's only in in the morning and will be doing ward round.
Why does this always happen? I must have done something to especially lead D on. Why do they think it's ok? I feel disgusting and dirty. This is my fault and now shits going to happen just cause I'm a stupid fucking dirty girl who can't control herself. It must be me. Otherwise it wouldn't have happened then, and then, and then and now.
And now it's 1am and everything seems even more fucked and I have ward round tomorrow morning.
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