It was nice to see them. But feels strange. Everyone is on egg shells. Nothing is the same anymore. I wasn't asked to dinner. I don't think they trust me after I brought stuff back last time. We've not discussed Christmas leave yet, I've been wanting to avoid it all together to be honest.
I don't know why I'm suddenly more suicidal again. My mind is suddenly running away with plans of overdoses before I can catch up. I'm tired. I don't belong anywhere. That's the overriding feeling of the moment.
I'm so hungry. But so scared to eat. I'm so tired of this.
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