Whilst I dont think there is anything wrong with a bit of tough love sometimes I do think there is a line that a lot of people seem to be crossing at the moment.
I understand that people get frustrated when people dont seem to take the advice or dont respond in the way the poster thinks is right but I think people do need to remember that there are members who are extremely fragile and who perhaps dont need that tough love approach. Although it might seem to you (Universal you) that the person needs a virtual shaking/pretty harsh commentary thats not what everyone needs.
Its a hard balance and there are members who are very capable of providing advice that is both thoughtful and for lack of a better word 'nice' but still able to give advice that is accurate and helpful.
There is a line between 'oh hugs/i know how you feel but have no advice' and 'why wont you do the logical/sensible thing.You're being irritating' and so on.
I definitely agree with hindsight too, if youre further forward in your recovery or recovered it can be really difficult to remember what it was like to be at the same place that person is in and not everyone works in the same way.
Its distressing to read that when someone asks people to stop responding in a certain way they carry on doing it, its pretty nasty to watch to be honest.I very much think that a lot of it has to do with the amount of people at the beginning of recovery compared to those who have recovered completely. RYL used to have far less people in stable recovery and it does mean that those kind of frustrated replies happen more often.
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