[findingmyself]

I feel stuck nothing is helping im serious. I feel stuck and feel like im banging my head against a wall.
I have been too soo many therapist they have only hurt me. Im so scared to go down that road again and because therapy just makes worse for some reason it makes me worse. Therapy twice a week would probably help me but it just makes me worse because if they do something that hurts me it really hurts me which is not help its just adding more pain. Maybe I really do need to take meds again btu I just hate taking meds andI hate relying on a med to live. I wish therapy helped me but it doesn't. On top of that im dealing health issues arrgg and my parents arrg and stupid money if I don't have a job and make money I will be stuck in this house forever having money is freedom.

I don't know what to do any more I feel stuck I battle with myself every day which just stresses me out to do I don't know what to do any more I don't understand the point of living. I think I should just quiet college and just sit around for the rest for my lfie but then I also think to keep going to college to become a therapist because that is my passion iw ant it more than any thing but then I think I cant do I cant do the schooling to be a therapist but then I think if I never become a therapist I will just be depressed for the rest of my life regretting I didn't stay in school to be a therapist. But then I think I should just quit college Im just fooling myself ill never be a therapist . See what I mean im stuck ?????? I don't know what to do literaly nothing works but meds probably. I just want therapy to help but for some reason it doesn't. I don't get the point in living maybe there is not a God . I don't know what god wants from me any more.