[teachit]

So I went to my therapist today and really told her how I was feeling. I think she was conflicted about letting me leave after what I spoke to her about. And I really want to hurt myself. Don;t think I want to kill myself right now. I am concerned that if I hurt myself and go into her on thursday she will commit me. But honestly I feel like the break would be welcome and then maybe everyone would know I was a real ****ing mess.

I dunno. I just feel like if I do hurt myself, I don't know if I should tell her or not.

I also don't want my husband to know if I do either. But honestly I feel ike if I keep not hurting myself I am going to end up trying to kill myself. But is that a bad thing? I don;t know right now. I just feel so awful. I feel like a whiny teenager and feel like no one understands. I feel isolated, alone and misunderstood. I am 29 yrs old. This is not ok