[chocostashchick]

oh honey i am so sorry
you have like a TON of stuff on your plate right now don't you?
from reading your posts, you are a really articulate and perceptive person, probably also very self-aware, so i think you have more strength in you than you realise
and now that you are a father i bet that you will have even more of that primal or whatever strength/instinct/motivation that parents get in order to be there for your son
be healthy for yourself, and for him - you dont need to cut and by now you must know that it wont make you feel better or solve anything
about your gf, it is good to make things work if you can, and i dont know details, but growing up with parents who divorced early i know that sometimes it is actually better and healthier, especially for the child, for the parents to part ways. my parents were absolute crap together, just totally rubbish, and they divorced and things were so much nicer. they are both intelligent and were motivated to be there for me and my little brother and they talked civilly in front of us and communicated about our lives when we were in school and they were still a team when it came to raising us. so i just wanted to let you know that sometimes it isnt worth it to try to force a relationship when it wont work, but of course that isnt ideal. you will know what is right in your case.
good luck hun

by the way i spent 20 minutes trying to change my thread title and i figured it out! you just have to highlight/double click your thread title when you are on the main Vets Corner forum page, and then a textbox opens up with a blinking cursor around it and you can type it in right on there. it was hard because when i was double clicking, the textbox would open but then the window would just go right to my thread, because i had clicked it, so i had to do it fast and stop the page loading first. yeah i dont know if that makes any sense but i was able to do it that way. i think you can only do it for the threads that you start though.