Thank you guys for your replies. Things were going much better but last night made it worse. I did manage to keep from self-harming, but I am fighting the urge so hard and it's a bit tiring. I'm also out if town for a few days and I purposely left possible tools at home. I'm glad because I definitely would have used them, but the urge is getting stronger and I stay distracted as much as I can but it's not going away.
I just started seeing my therapist and I've only seen her twice so far. I like her and I feel like I could talk to her but I'm so nervous to. There things I don't ever want to talk about but I know I need to and we haven't gotten there yet. But she is helpful and I can tell she cares.
Thank you for your support. I've never been able to talk to anyone who understands this before, and it helps that you guys are here. :)
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