I really do struggle to take tablets because of the ocd. I'm looking at a 3 month wait to see the dr. I'm really struggling with the pain it's really bad and the fatigue with a few hours of me waking up I'm sleeping again. I didn't accept a place on the course as I don't think I could keep up. I feel like such a useless failure. I feel upset most of the time and cry loads. I'm also struggling with suicidal thoughts they have never been this bad before. I'm not sure what to do anymore I keep thinking things will get better but to be honest my life just feels like a downward spiral. To make things worse my sister is pregnant and has a amazing job, I can't have children and I won't ever have my dream job like her, this just ads to me feeling more of a failure. Hope this makes sense
Lotty
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