Hey,
Thank you all for your comments. I have not longed in for a while because things have been very busy and I forgot both my password and email address to reset it. However since longing back in it was great to see your supportive comments.
I am still struggling with missing my old counsellor. I think as several of you have said counsellors provide support and care, and if that is lacking in other areas of our lives it can be easy to get attached.
LauriLauri, I am sorry you are still struggling with the loss of therapies and contact with counsellors. It can be very difficult when people leave, especially if we feel like we need them. With regards to therapists not having contact after ending appointments, speaking from the UK system, they have all sorts of guidelines there to protect them and us even though it can feel very painful.
Popcorn, I really appreciate you validating my feelings and it helps to know that I am not the only one who has felt this way about a therapist. It is good to hear that it is natural to have these kinds of feelings. When I had a 'one off' appointment with her I asked if she could send me an email summary and so I have that to re-read, but I have been unable to open it ever since really. I hope in time things will feel easier. I am glad that you have a current therapist who you get on well with and can relate to and have flexibility with! Thanks for your support.
Littlemermaid, I am so sorry that you are going through this as well and the strict no contact policy must be difficult but I guess they have all these rules to help protect us as you said yourself. She was in no way trying to hurt you, just following her ethical code which is in place to protect people from harm. I think you said it perfectly that if you could email her then it may never feel quite enough and you may be sat at your computer waiting, maybe feeling disappointed at the reply or if she did not say what you had hoped. Therefore holding onto those positive memories of what a good therapist she was and the work you did together can be a cleaner ending. The email my uni counsellor sent me that I mentioned above was thoughtful and kind, but there were a million other things I wished she would have said so email contact can be difficult. I sometimes see my old therapist around, and as much as I actually like to see her I also find it very painful knowing that I cannot speak to her again. I am really sorry you are feeling this kind of pain too, I guess it is good knowing that we are not alone in these types of feelings. Similarly, I get afraid that this will happen all over again with new therapists. I guess I hope there will be a point when I actually do not feel like I need therapy and so the ending will be less painful. I hope things start to feel a bit easier for you, and I am glad you have the book she gave you to read when you are missing her.
Zab
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