It sounds like you have experienced alot of loss in your life, that can be hard to deal with and can often leave us feeling very alone and like we have been abandoned. It's understandable that things have got too much for you and that you don't know quite how to deal with it. Please know that this is doesn't have to be the end for you though, their are things you can do to help improve things.
One of the things you mentioned was having difficulty controlling your emotions. Perhaps if you told us a bit more about any particular emotions that you are finding hard we could help you come up with better ways of being able to manage them. Have you spoken to your girlfriend about how much your struggling? Perhaps if she knew she might be able to help you find better outlets for your emotions too. Hold on there, it can get better
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