So the worker is now on holiday. He refused to refer me to the crisis team and said I should just continually phone until I get support - except all I got was a manager phoning me and having a go at me about how busy they are with the ill people; so how can I possibly be as important as anyone else?
I told the worker as much as I could on Friday.
His response was 'just don't do it'.
Well that just isn't good enough.
I have the first investigation for my physical problem on wedensday and must get police permission as well as alert porters to me being in the hospital as stupid crisis team refused to see me as I am too dangerous so now I'm registered as a dangeous patient; it is humiliating and very frightening; best case senario is that it is the beginning of severe deterioation of my physical condition. I'm frightened. Really frightened. I've had migraines and paralysing fear this weekend - literally paralysing because I am so frightened; panic attacks that are just going on and on and on.
I didn't even get to speak to the duty officer; the receptionist told me not to bother as they were waay too busy to speak to me. Wouldn't even take a message. I tried the samaritans but even they got fed up of talking to me.
I started talking a few years ago about everything but it's just made things even harder to cope with now. And now I'm hear talking to you and I'm so upset that I don't even care I'm sat in a public library typing this.
I'm terrified that if I attempt I will fail and be made fun of again.
I have tried talking to people at church but they find it very upsetting and phone cmht, who just advise whoever phones them to help me themselves.
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