Becca, I'm sorry that things are really difficult for you at the moment. Do you attend church regularly? If so, are you able to get support from the people that go to your church? Even if it's just a chat it can often be a great help.
It's a shame your CMHT worker is away next week as it sounds like you could really do with their support right now. I know you said the duty officer always says 'Go to A&E' but you really need to utilise them as much as you need to. If you really feel like you're at risk or unsafe then perhaps going to A&E isn't such a bad idea.
I've found that people have very mixed views on the crisis team. Some people find them to be a great help and others think they are pretty useless. From my own experience I find it's a bit hit and miss i.e it depends on the person who answers your call. I appreciate you haven't had a very good experience of the crisis team but if you call and the person isn't very helpful it might be worth calling back as sometimes a completely different person answers and you might find you get a different response.
I hope you're able to get internet access soon as it would be good to know how you're getting on. Take care Becca.
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