You DO deserve it!
Do you know much about mindfulness? I never used to like it at all but recently I've found it to be quite helpful in keeping me in the present moment. It might help you, it might not but could be worth a try?
I'm pleased that your wounds are okay.
It's good that you are feeling calmer this evening. I think it's perfectly understandable to be a little wary when a new person enters our lives especially when we've built up trust with someone else. Remember trust has to be earned so it's bound to take a little time.
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