Hi Bear, I honestly don't think you are to blame for reacting the way you did. As someone else quite rightly said you were unwell at the time and when we are unwell we don't always react in the correct manner and you can only be pushed so far before you snap. Please don't blame yourself. The staff are at fault for the way they treated you. I can understand your reasons for not wanting to make a complaint and that's fine. I certainly don't think badly of you.
You said you've self-harmed, is the wound okay? Do you need medical attention?
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