Originally Posted by
Bear
Ten years ago I was in hospital on a section three. I was depressed and psychotic. The nurses used to hurt me. They used to hit me, slam doors on me and push my face on the floor. I was a teenager at the time and had a very low bmi and grown men used to regularly push me down and sit on me. They told me there was nothing wrong with me mentally (I'm now diagnosed with schizophrenia) that I was attention seeking and that I liked having the staff running round after me.
I used to self harm to deal with this and they didn't give me proper medical attention, even for severe second degree burns.
Thing is, one day I was eating when one of the nurses who did these things said something to me and I just flipped. The next thing I knew I was on top of him holding a fork to his chest. I saw the fear in his face and let him go. But I still feel ashamed. I'm not a violent person, honestly. After that, I got moved to a secure hospital and the bullying stopped.
Yesterday I heard people talking about the ward I'd been on (it's not far from where I live) and the memories came back. I know it's wrong but I self harmed for the first time in months.
I don't talk about this time in my life because I'm ashamed and I don't want to put peoples jobs at risk. Please don't be angry at me for not putting a complaint in against these people, I just can't go there, I'm not strong enough
please be gentle...