Thank you for your replies everyone, they mean a lot I hope you are all managing x
Originally Posted by
DontLookUp
Well considering your mum wasnt inside your head at the time its hard for her to know whether it was a conscious decision or not and since you dont feel it was, you should trust your own feelings about it ;)
its hard to think straight at the time often.
I'm sorry that people around you dont accept them, that must make it very difficult.
But like with everything else, we need to learn to accept things about us even when others dont. It is our opinion that counts. There will always be people trying to bring you down for whatever reason, and you have to try to not let them affect you and be confident enough in yourself to know that if they have a problem about something about you, that they are the problem and not you xxx
Thank you for being so supportive, I judge myself so harshly on what other people think of me that I don't really have an opinion of myself and whatever opinions I gain of myself seem to be negative and in moments before inflict such damage but that doesn't feel like me... I really don't know who I am. Thank you again, take care x
Originally Posted by
IdleButDeadly
For me, personally, I think the reason for harming in an "obvious place" is usually a combination of reasons! For example, sometimes (and it really all boils down to what exactly I'm feeling during that episode of SH) I do it without thinking. Sometimes I do it on purpose, maybe because I'm mad at someone I care about or am looking for attention. I, like a lot of self harmers, often will deny deny deny I do it for attention, but I think sometimes a part of me does. I read in a book once that said something along the lines that if someone is doing SH for attention, that attention needs to be given in some way. People think that rewarding with that attention will be some how enabling, but if someone you care about needs your attention so bad that they hurt themselves, it must be pretty important and worth listening to them!
I'm not saying for sure that's why you do it where you do, but maybe worth considering? Is there someone you were angry at, or feeling like you are being neglected in the relationship or anything like that?
Take care *hugs*
Hi thank you for the hugs *hugs back* I don't feel like I do it for attention but there may be an element of 'I'm in crisis, please help me' I've been getting memories after months of flashbacks and trauma related delusions In hospital 3 years ago I had to re represss it tell myself it wasn't real so I could get treatment for my psychosis now that the psychosis is healing due to correct medication I'm now getting 'real' memories and I couldn't face it alone anymore I was deeply ashamed of myself with these memories very angry at myself but also angry at the world that these memories are the real deal so also an element of 'notice me I need your help' but I didn't want her to know I only told because she'd find out anyway. So I see your reasoning and thank you for honest, tale care also x