[suicidal~lullaby]

i cut... last night because of my grades.. they slipped down again and my parent said something last night that i have no socail life till i vae a job (no going anywhere or phone to call anyone.) snd this morning on my birthday they chastised me again about my grades and after theat i ticked my teacher off by wearing the wrong color for the filming of the green screnes and we have this assignment that i have to do but i dont have the proper comp tp do it on because my broke last night and i have to use the one in th elab and i cant listen to it because this computer doesnt have the proper thingy to listen to it on and so... yes.... this is the worst day ever of my life. im so depressed... and somtpilating suicide..... my god what did i do to make god so angry?

whats even worse... i cut myself worse... and didnt hesitate when i did... it was like a habit... is this really me? omg what am i turinng into? oh god..... my other wrist wouldnt give so easily... so i kept cutting till it did. my god... maybe suicide is the answer if i am just going to keep plumeting like this?