I know it's difficult, but part of recovery is being honest with yourself even when times are hard. I think a good way of being honest is sort of thinking, well if my friend came to me and shown me what he/she had done asking if it counted, how would I respond? And that way it's easier to be honest with yourself.
But even if what you did was a slip-up (if it was intentional, then it kind of is) there's no reason to get down on yourself about it, because the point is you're trying really hard and you've managed to go without your usual methods which is a really difficult thing to do, so well done for that you should be so proud of yourself. ^_^ No one I know has ever recovered without slip-ups, it's all just part of letting go, you just need to remember they aren't failures so long as you pick yourself up and try twice as hard to keep going and moving forward next time :) it sounds like it took a lot to get to this three month mark, so it definitely counts as valid recovery time - you should be so proud of yourself and it will only get better so long as you keep trying and staying strong. ^_^ xxx
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