Today/last night has been one of the worst of my life. I'm at this point where I can't do it alone and I'm tired of faking it and pretending its all ok. I still live at home and commute to my college (saves money by not having to pay for room and board, etc). Well my mom has not been supportive at all. I tried first to tell her about my SH in August 2012. She laughed so I shut up about it and continued keeping it in. It got really bad a month ago and she questioned me about a FB status I had made. It all came out and her reaction was to basically say if I cut again you are out of my house. You are an adult and I don't have to support someone with reckless behaviors and who is out of control. Two nights ago when I cut deep enough to need stitches she told me if I do it one more time I'm totally done. The urges were so intense last night that I had a full on panic attack, couldn't stop crying, was hyperventilating and thinking of ending it again. I did not sleep at all and stayed home from school today. Her reaction was to again laugh. I still haven't made it out of bed and just can't go on like this anymore. I have no real job yet and really can't move out until I graduate next spring but I can't do this anymore. I want a way out.
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