[hush]

until friday night i went a full month(mabey a bit more, not sure exactly) without a single cut (yay me!). but friday night my girlfriend and i were at a football game and some duchebaggs were throughing rocks at us because we are both bi and our firend we were with is gay. I was so upset that I went home, [removed text] and made 5 shallow cuts on my ankel.

my girlfriend who also was an SI-er made 2 weeks herself until that night. the next day I confessed and she told me how that same night she cut a star into her arm. the next thing I know she pulls out a blade and starts cutting her arm again right infront of me. reluctantly I dont stop her.(I dont belive I have the right to) now she asks if i wanted to lick the blood off her arm, I being a horny teenager of course said yes. then she offers me the balde and as much as I didnt want to in one part of me, another part really did want to. I decided to use it and made 4 cuts on my chest

a few minutes after I felt guilty but the more I thought about it the more I realized I acctualy felt right. this is the first time in weeks I acctaly have an appitite and I have a general feeling of contentness rather than the emptyness Im used to. then I tought about why I quit and remembers it was because of a few cuts that went too far. I eventualy decided on the idea of everything in moderation. i really dont see anything inherently bad about cutting. Ive givin up recovery for now. atleast until i can get by without my crutch