thank you for your replies you two. I'm not sure whether it's a symptom of my illness or not, that part of it feels special; the way things mean something stop of endless pointlessness of it somehow,even if the meanings are not real.
I think mayb your'e right it does come down to compliance, deep down i've always wondered whether taking away my 'illness' is taking away one of the few things I have to 'be'. Rubbish thing to be I know, but I feel I have very little going for me to hold onto,to identify myself by in a way.
The idea of the fridge list is a good idea...i have tried moving the tablets into different locations and taking at different times but i always say eg:if their next to the kettle, that i'll take them after i've finished the cup of tea rather than before i've drunk it.
And by now i've been off them two days again and it's starting to feel like i don't want to take one today either
sorry this is rambling- in summary-thank you for the insights x
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