Hi there,
Two things really sprang to my mind when I read this. The first is whether these occur truly randomly or at moments where you are about to self-harm/thinking about self-harming? If you can identify any patterns at all to when the flashbacks come on, that could be helpful. It also makes it easier to have specific 'go-to' distractions, or put preventative measures in place.
The second question is whether these flashbacks actually serve to scare you from future self-harm? I know you said you've relapsed, but how have these experiences affected things? Flashbacks tend to be of traumatic events and memories. It seems like this could be a kind of 'warning' against doing any severe injuries again in the future.
I can relate and I know it's difficult to cope with. I find that I experience some anxiety now around self-harming based on previous events, and it can be really helpful to hold onto the fact that it's a healthier response than actually hurting yourself! The key is to reduce the distress the flashbacks bring, whilst still taking on board the fact that it's okay to feel anxious about hurting yourself.
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