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Selfmanipulation?
I have a kind of an exam tomorrow and I haven't done much studying. I know I shouldn't be online right now and I should be studying. I should have done a lot more practical training with friends from school as half of the exam is practical but I did almost nothing.
It is so hard to force myself to do some preparation for tomorrow.
As if something is holding me back. I used to be like this 6 or 7 years ago but I thought I had beaten this behaviour. I was doing so well since September but my old behaviours have come back.
I keep telling myself that I don't want to be good in school. As if I'm scared to have good grades, it doesn't make sense. I have good grades all the time, at least until now, since I started this school.
It feels as if there is a part of myself stopping me from studying.
Can anyone relate to this? Any ideas how I could beat this?
I feel a strong urge to stay online now and wait for a reply. I'm not giving in though. I'll be back later.
Laura
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