Hi there.
Sorry you feel so lost right now.
What she was doing by breaking up with you and getting back with you because she knew how you felt about her wasn't right. People can't just turn relationships on and off.
Unfortunately, when people break up neither have the right to tell someone how to act afterwards. We all react to things in different ways; while I do think it's unfair to be like that with guys straight after you broke up, it's her decision and there's not an awful lot you can do about it. If you don't feel right doing it then it's obviously wrong for you.
I'm sorry you felt like you had to turn to suicide having lost her; but I think it's important that you see a way to go on without her. It might seem like you can't at the moment but I guarantee you will feel stronger and the hurt will lessen. I thought the same as you after a break-up but here I am, stronger and better being out of the relationship.
She didn't have a right to have a go at you for receiving those pictures; like I said neither of you has a say over the other, and it was highly hypocritical of her. You were simply doing what she'd done. In my opinion, what she's doing shows a lack of respect for your relationship and that would drive me into getting over her to be honest.
The fact of it is, you can live without her, and if you need to you will. There is no physical reason why you depend on her...even if right now it feels like you do. You're your own person and you deserve a happy and healthy life. You need to work on becoming your own person again.
Take care.
x x x
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