[CosetteDaae]

Lately several people have said this to me, and I unfortunately agree. I say unfortunately because while they mean to say, "You deserve to be happy", I feel that I don't deserve to suffer because I have no right to my grief and my emotions. I do not deserve the relief of pain that comes with tears. I do not deserve the comfort of friends. I don't deserve to be emotional in front of them because I've never really been through anything to warrant it. I've never been raped, nor have I been genuinely abused (I once had a mentor tell me repeatedly that I was worthless but it doesn't really count). I haven't even had a death of someone close. My former mentor's father died and *I* seem to be taking it harder than HE did.

I want to cry and often my voice sounds like I'm on the edge of tears but I can never truly cry. I don't deserve to be in pain. I have no reason to. I'm just an overemotional nobody.

I'm horrible. I'm selfish. I'm self-absorbed. I'm melodramatic. I suck. I shouldn't be in pain because nothing has happened to me. Other people need help more than me.