It sounds like you care about him very much and want to marry him to complete this relationship to make it more meaningful. Why do you feel it's so important to marry him? It might help sort out your feelings and also help him understand why marriage is so important to you.
I know it feels like you are not good enough for him to marry you but that's not true. If you weren't good enough he wouldn't still be with you. To me it seems more that he is scared of getting hurt again which is why he is against it.
As for the crushes it's fine if that is all they are but if you seeing these other men in a romantic way then is marriage something you really want. I guess you have to work out who you want to be with as it's not fair to stay in a relationship if you aren't being faithfull, not saying that this is the case just thought I would put it out there. Please don't take this as a harsh criticism I am just trying to help you work out where you stand. Take care
Kat xxx
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