[Indigo.]

Hey there :)

I got a referral from my GP to see a psychiatrist. I have an appt with her on Wednesday/Thursday.

[I'm currently 17.]

I mostly struggle with impulse & anger control(hence I got in kind of some big trouble at school because I yelled at a teacher because some other teacher had told me soem horrible things...long story), low self-esteem[self deprecating thoughts], of course self harm, mood swings, some anxiety&mild dissociation and stuff like that.[i also have some eating issues but some of those started quite recently compared to all the others that have been going on for a few years now..and I'm definitely not ready to talk about my eating issues so yeahh.]

I have previously seen the school psychologist who tried to be nice but couldn't help me. I'm not sure why..maybe because she couldn't asses me properly or because the MH services were limited in school..and then she told my mom about my SH though i had asked her not to and she ****ing promised she wouldn't say anything(luckily my mom didn't believe her..!). She also said some cruel things to me like 'go ahead jump off the window, we'll cry for you one day and then you'll be forgotten' when I was feeling quite suicidal..So she has broken my trust and there's now way I can still see her.

Now I'm going to see this psychiatrist and I have no idea what to expect or how I should act. I also don't think I can trust her completely(like no way in hell I can tell her about my SH, which unfortunately is one of my biggest issues and one of my most frequently used coping mechanisms..). But i can tell her about other stuff..I think.

What should I expect? What do you think she is going to ask me when she first sees me? Like will she ask me sth like 'what are you struggling with' because I'm not sure if I can answer this question well...

Oh and I almost forgot, on the referral it says "Emotional disturbances" or sth like that(roughly translated).

x