Hi there,
I'm sorry this happened and it upset you, the trouble with working with customers is that some of them can be unpleasant and hurtful. I recently had a customer who seemed to think that it was my fault that a local shop had closed down. The fact that it closed down in the 70's, before I was even born, didn't make a difference to her.
People tend to be more unpleasant when they know you are "forced" to be amiable and helpful to them, probably because there is little ramification for their actions. You did nothing wrong in this situation and shouldn't feel worried that you shall get in trouble. You followed the law and company policy, this woman was just pissed that she wasn't getting her way. People use the threat of managers because they think it may scare people into doing what they want. I am a somewhat unauthorized manager in one of my jobs (the main manager is rarely there and I'm the only full-time member who knows what's going on) and the girls there always get me to go over if there is a complaint. 99% of the time they have done nothing wrong, there has been a miscommunication and/or the customer is getting arsey at someone who they think has to take their bad mood with a smile.
Have you been in this job long? Sadly, there's nothing preventing unpleasant and rude customers coming in and you having to deal with them. I tend to try to stay calm and polite in situations like this and reiterate the law and company policy (which you did here.) If they start insulting you or being unnecessarily rude, I generally point this out to them in a direct yet still polite manner, eg: "I'm sorry that you are unhappy with this situation sir/madam and I will try to resolve it to the best of my abilities, however there is no need for you to speak to me in this manner."
This doesn't work 100% of the time of course, and the main thing you need to remember is that you always have the ability to walk away and get someone else. Customers like to think that you have to stand there and take abuse from them, but you don't. If they are upsetting you, you have every right to walk away and get someone else to deal with them, just simply say "I'm sorry we cannot resolve this, let me get one of my colleagues/manager who will be able to help you."
Try to remember that these people are not angry at you personally, and the things they say are often out of frustration. They do not know you and their words are petty gropes at regaining power over you. It's difficult to let some things go and I hope you have some more pleasant shifts from now on. Perhaps you could speak to your manager about how they feel you should best deal with customers like this? Knowing it is advice from someone in your company may give you a bit more confidence about how to deal with these people.
I hope you are feeling better
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