thank you everyone - I feel this way because - things happened in my past - I don't know and never met my father - I have been psychologically conditioned as a kid to do everything someone says ( and have been told by the guy it was because when he met us we were 8 and we had our own personalitys so had to be broken down) - and have been told to do things that if anyone now these days got caught doing - it would be an massive public outcry (long story)
- now I have a job and my own flat - but I have this past that everyone turned a blind eye too - and its eating me alive
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