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offlineforever · 27-01-2013, 06:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The One Who

When myself, and others, have tried to discuss other groups, or other related issues it is stopped with "they aren't a part of QK" or "this is about QK". So is it that people like myself are focussing on that one group, or is it because that group won't let it move away from them onto a broader discussion?

I agree, it does keep coming back to that, but I ponder if the issue here is that QK members feel like they are being attacked for being a member of an outside group? That is how I feel about it tbh. But Also, I can see why people have issues with it.

And I am now going to drop the QK issue as it is going in circles.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dash

I've read this thread from start to finish. I'm a bit confused and bemused, have no idea who the QK are, or anything about any of them. For what it's worth, I felt this summed it up.

With anything like cliques, as long as no rules are being broken, then any issues remaining are the responsibility of the person and the person only, not the other people.

I too felt like an outsider when I arrived. I worked my arse off, became known for support and felt, at that point 'included' because I was 'needed'- that was all hollow because I was just 'used' by people. I was still an outsider. I felt like an outsider when I wasn't a mod, when I was a mod, after I was a mod (both times). I would consider myself disliked/hated and I know I am, and have never been, part of any clique.

But all those are my issues, and not anyone elses (again, as long as no rules have been broken). It's my issue if I don't like a person, it's their issue if they don't like me. If I don't like a person, what do I do about it? Generally, I avoid them, because my dislike of them is my issue, not theirs.

Feeling lonely, isolated, a outcast, and more, is going to be so prevalent on a site like this because they do often come hand in hand with depression, but that doesn't mean that the situation is what and how you feel. That is 'just' how someone feels, and will likely differ from what someone else perceives.

So, in these situations, it's often a case of looking internally and working out what's going on and what we, as individuals, can do to change the situation we find ourselves in and how to make it better for us. That's not easy, but we are responsible only for ourselves, not others.

Over the years I've worked hard and tried to change the things I've felt needed changing (things like 'bully to avoid being bullied', upping the support posts on forums/people who weren't receiving much, working to improve the support department WAY in the past), and it never worked- both due to me (often due to me) but also due to circumstances as well. Now I just accept how things are. when I want to, I come on and post, and when I don't, I trundle off, look but don't sign in, visit other places where I feel welcome, feel comfortable and dislike things less- ultimately though I will always come back to RYL, I would guess, because, despite it not being as it was, and me not feeling as I did about here, it is still 'home'. All swings and roundabouts.

And- this is totally off topic, but I swear earlier on in the thread it mentioned about just posting on the thread to remind people to stick to topic or get back on topic, and that was sort of done here, in that it was an effort to diffuse a situation, and the person was shot down in flames.

And I am not entirely comfortable with posting this so I'll probably have a panic and delete this in a bit.

I agree with all that Dash has said here too actually.

27-01-2013, 06:12 PM	#214
offlineforever Left RYL Join Date: Dec 2009	Quote: Originally Posted by The One Who When myself, and others, have tried to discuss other groups, or other related issues it is stopped with "they aren't a part of QK" or "this is about QK". So is it that people like myself are focussing on that one group, or is it because that group won't let it move away from them onto a broader discussion? I agree, it does keep coming back to that, but I ponder if the issue here is that QK members feel like they are being attacked for being a member of an outside group? That is how I feel about it tbh. But Also, I can see why people have issues with it. And I am now going to drop the QK issue as it is going in circles. Quote: Originally Posted by Dash I've read this thread from start to finish. I'm a bit confused and bemused, have no idea who the QK are, or anything about any of them. For what it's worth, I felt this summed it up. With anything like cliques, as long as no rules are being broken, then any issues remaining are the responsibility of the person and the person only, not the other people. I too felt like an outsider when I arrived. I worked my arse off, became known for support and felt, at that point 'included' because I was 'needed'- that was all hollow because I was just 'used' by people. I was still an outsider. I felt like an outsider when I wasn't a mod, when I was a mod, after I was a mod (both times). I would consider myself disliked/hated and I know I am, and have never been, part of any clique. But all those are my issues, and not anyone elses (again, as long as no rules have been broken). It's my issue if I don't like a person, it's their issue if they don't like me. If I don't like a person, what do I do about it? Generally, I avoid them, because my dislike of them is my issue, not theirs. Feeling lonely, isolated, a outcast, and more, is going to be so prevalent on a site like this because they do often come hand in hand with depression, but that doesn't mean that the situation is what and how you feel. That is 'just' how someone feels, and will likely differ from what someone else perceives. So, in these situations, it's often a case of looking internally and working out what's going on and what we, as individuals, can do to change the situation we find ourselves in and how to make it better for us. That's not easy, but we are responsible only for ourselves, not others. Over the years I've worked hard and tried to change the things I've felt needed changing (things like 'bully to avoid being bullied', upping the support posts on forums/people who weren't receiving much, working to improve the support department WAY in the past), and it never worked- both due to me (often due to me) but also due to circumstances as well. Now I just accept how things are. when I want to, I come on and post, and when I don't, I trundle off, look but don't sign in, visit other places where I feel welcome, feel comfortable and dislike things less- ultimately though I will always come back to RYL, I would guess, because, despite it not being as it was, and me not feeling as I did about here, it is still 'home'. All swings and roundabouts. And- this is totally off topic, but I swear earlier on in the thread it mentioned about just posting on the thread to remind people to stick to topic or get back on topic, and that was sort of done here, in that it was an effort to diffuse a situation, and the person was shot down in flames. And I am not entirely comfortable with posting this so I'll probably have a panic and delete this in a bit. I agree with all that Dash has said here too actually.
offlineforever Left RYL Join Date: Dec 2009	Left.