Originally Posted by
Narcissa
I'm getting bored of people saying "I'm not talking about any clique in particular". It's kind of annoying.
See, I think there's a big difference between a community coming together and deciding on rules, and a community coming together to discuss how they don't like certain people and how they feel alienated by them. Like, I didn't like the fact that when we started getting old London meets going again a few years ago and 'older' members were just like 'eww, new members, ceeb for that', and then when they finally started attending meets they sat at a separate table and didn't really talk to us. However, that's the way they choose to behave and I felt excluded and upset but so what? They weren't breaking any rules towards me, that's just the way the clique mentality worked at the time. What do you suggest we do? Force members to like every other member, to talk to every other member? To carefully make sure that they equally distribute their time between every single board and every single member so as to make everything fair? I was going to say that this sounds like primary school politics, but even at ten years old I was told by my teacher that it was OK if I didn't want to play with a certain person on the yard every day.
I think it's arrogant and wrong of people to challenge a certain group's dynamic, but go ahead and do it if you want but as a top tip, I imagine they'd take it better if they were challenged politely. Saying "I think your friendship group is pathetic" isn't the greatest way to get a discussion going.
I know this was pages ago but just wanted to reply, politely.
When I said I don't mean any individual clique I genuinely meant it, I'm not singling anyone out, I have seen many cliques come and go and see little to any point singling one out.
I disagree with that attitude at a London meet it isn't helpful and I'm sad to hear that that has happened.
Personally I don't see how politely challenging is arrogant or wrong, I know when I've been in cliques sometimes we have been unaware how certain things come across and so and so forth and although none of us particularly wanted to hear it it was useful seeing things from another's perspective even if we didn't agree with them.
The last thing I want to do is offend or upset anybody, but I just wanted to clarify one or two things.
Now the stuff below is a little more personal:
A small add on as well, if I am the RYLer in question about the 'disgusting' comment I'd just like to say that if I said that a) I apologise, that was rude b) I think it was regarding comments about a particular member that upset me and c) not an excuse and I should never have come when I was that ill but I really was in a pretty messed up head space, and I know that people around me down here both friends and professionals have unfortunately born the brunt of my mood which is really truly terrible of me and I am working on it. I'd also like to add both here and in rant threads/wherever I would strongly appreciate people PMing me about any issues, rather than posting in public about it.
*really quite worried I'm going to get jumped on here*