Originally Posted by
Narcissa
This. Thank you for the explanation. It's very interesting to hear a polite explanation of how 'we' are perceived by others.
You say that people feel that they aren't wanted and are scared to disagree with us. Do you feel like there are lots of examples of people being 'stomped out' or unwanted, or that it's more just the 'image' that the group gives off?
You're welcome. Nothing gets solved if we all tiptoe around what supposed group we are talking about and everyone gets defensive because no one can be bothered to go "oi, its you i have a problem with." Hopefully now I've started this other people can come forward and expand on my thoughts and we have a proper adult discussion with tea and biscuits and whatever else adults have in meetings.
Personally, I feel that if I ever disagreed with anyone from the QK group, I would get a lot of abuse back. I understand defending your friends opinions and sticking up for your friends, but sometimes it goes a bit too far and people tend to not say anything in fear of the repercussions. Especially because it is also well known that QK'ers talk about people on fb, etc. Though this might be me being paranoid because I don't like people not liking me, all I want to do is make people's lives as easy as possible and I feel bad if people don't like me. I don't know if this is the way anyone else feels, but that is my thought process.
As with all friend groups, I think it's just QK'ers have each others backs, as it were, so everyone knows that there is at least 2 of you who will stalk the other and back them up if necessary (or unnecessary, whatevz bruv.)
Originally Posted by
Narcissa
Because as I always prattle on, I love getting new people involved in stuff and I found the uni student thread very welcoming when I first joined it, so I wonder if any of that intention comes across or not?
I don't like the uni student thread. I also don't like any of the big zillion page long threads. I don't feel comfortable posting there, because once again it's turned into a group. I think me and Liv have mentioned this before in the other threads about rooms (I will look this up a bit later after I have replied to all of you) about not feeling welcome and then deleting our posts. I think it might be because it's very chatty oriented (or at least was when I tried to join in) and I don't know how to talk to people at the best of times, let alone a group who has all the lingo and memes and all that jazz. I don't see anything wrong with it, if you wanna go ahead and chat then be my guest, but that is just my take on it.
Originally Posted by
Narcissa
Without talking about practicalities or anything, in an ideal world, what would be one big thing that you feel would help to make people feel less threatened?
I'm not sure on this one. I think sometimes without meaning to, QK'ers get really excited and tend to talk over other people or spam memes (which is another thing that really annoys me, we are not 4chan/9gag/reddit, but again, personal pet peeve!) and people get a bit overwhelmed and don't know how to respond to the group. Which leads to them not posting and things. I guess maybe tone it down a bit? Sometimes I feel you guys are a bit larger than life and I don't know how to deal with that. Maybe also think about the way you conduct yourselves - for example, Nic had a point on the other thread that sometimes angry people are just really upset, and you guys didn't see why you should ask if they're okay instead of just reporting it and leaving the mods to deal with. (I don't think conduct is the right word and I think that is what the point was, I wasn't on the internet at the time, shock horror! I also don't really remember where this point was going so I will leave it here.)
Originally Posted by
Alpha Bitch
Well, you explained it very well and from the way you said things I could finally understand why people from outside the group [can we please stop pretending we're not talking about QK here?] would perceive them in a certain way. For me a lot of the issues you mention come down to the fact that a lot of the more frequent posters are from our group, so it is probably natural that it looks like we're "taking over RYL". Maybe something can be done though to reduce that effect despite our lot posting a lot.
I'm pretty sure it's just because you guys post a hell of a lot, you are everywhere, everyone seems to like you and wont disagree with you, and it's just a bit.. everywhere? You seem to be in every board all the time with something and sometimes I think it'd be nice to just go somewhere without all the flashing images and the memes and stuff.
I am sorry for wall of text, and this is all my personal opinion with a bit of guessing going on. I am going to have a cigarette now whilst you read this and then if you have anymore questions, go ahead and I will answer them when I get back.
Also, thank you for being civil and respectful and actually wanting to fix things instead of... not. :P