[Cryptic.]

Quote:

Originally Posted by crazykat

I guess what you have to look at is,
do you think you are managing out in the community?

Do you feel able to keep yourself safe?

I know it can be hard to think of going to hospital at any time let alone if you only just recently come out.

However if it is going to help keep you safer and help you manage more then it might be worth considering.

Also considering it's for specialized treatment it will probably have more a focus on actually helping rather than just keeping you contained.

Are you able to talk to your CPN about why he thinks you need specialized treatment?

All the best in whatever you decide. Take care
Kat xxx

Hi Kat, thank you very much for your reply.

If I am honest, I'm not really managing well in the community, and I guess I'm not really keeping myself very safe... but I am trying so so hard to, though.

My CPN said it would be specialized regarding severe BPD and self harm, and he mentioned it'd be serious intervention.
I didn't really ask much about it, actually I didn't really at all... it scared me too much to even talk about.

My CPN thinks I'm unsafe right now and in a destructive cycle and that's why he had me sectioned a few months ago, which did f*k all, but now he is saying about speciaizlied treatment, which hasn't come up before really, in terms of being inpatient for specialized treatment...

I don't know what to really do here.

I find it difficult communicating verbally, so maybe I should write down things?

My mind is really jumbled and I'm scared and confused and triggered and lost and just, a mess really...

My fiancee thinks I need to be in hospital, weirdly the night before my appointment with my CPN and before specialized inpatient treatment was even a suggestion... other people think I should be...
but...
I don't want to go in hospital again.
I really don't.
It is scary and daunting and it makes me anxious and confused and I don't know what would happen and I don't know and it's all frightening and unknown and scary...

I feel like such a baby.

Thank you for replying again Kat, I really appreciate it.

x

Quote:

Originally Posted by Multi-Snarf

That sounds like a difficult decision, especially as it has been such a short time since you were already inpatient I can understand this must have brought up a lot of confusion and difficult feelings for you.



Do you feel you can get the help and support you need in the community, as well as feel able to stay safe between appointments and support available? -

If you feel that you would be safe with more support from your CPN/other services but on a more regular basis you could speak to him about trying this rather than going back to impatient treatment straight away.

However, if you feel your safety couldn't be guaranteed this way, it would be an idea to consider impatient treatment to ensure you are kept safe.



Do you agree with your CPN's reasons for inpatient?
Does your CPN have a full understanding of how you're feeling and what's going on?
If this is the case, or of you have been holding back and he still feels that impatient treatment is the best course of action you may need to consider his reasons, they will be in your best interests.


Do you think that learning more about what specialized treatment entails you would feel more comfortable with the idea?
Perhaps speak to him more about where you will be/what support you will get there and how that support can differ from the community support available.


Ultimately, it sounds like you have a lot more choice with this then you may have had with your section, and hopefully if you stay open and informed about what's going on with your care it will feel a lot less threatening and you can feel a lot more in control of what's going on with your treatment.


Whatever you decide, please take care

P.s apologies for spelling mistakes. My phone likes to think it's the boss.

Thank you also for replying, I really appreciate it, thank you both for taking the time out of your day to reply, especially with such long helpful responses.

Well, regarding help / support in the community, I was denied doing DBT last week, so that's pretty much out, which is the one thing I was hoping I could do, because it sounds like it could really help me, but I guess that's out of the window.

Staying safe between appointments... if I'm honest, I find it incredibly difficult to stay safe in a day, let alone between appointments... but I am trying, and I have been trying really hard... I really don't want to go into hospital... I'm not sure if I can see him more than once a week, he's really really busy.

We didn't really discuss much of his reasons, but he did get across how he knows I'm not okay, and I'm in a bad place, and the likes, but I physically was having trouble communicating and talking verbally, so we didn't really get into a depth conversation about his reasons, I kind of got the gist from the whole appointment and what he was saying which led up to it.

Maybe learning more, maybe I'd feel more informed about what would happen... wouldn't be as daunting... well... it still would... and scared crapless... but I guess learning more would be a good next step... but that would give the impression I am going to do it... and I don't want to... but I'm trying to think logically and rationally... but I'm finding that hard.

I think I'll write down what I feel I can't say aloud and maybe ask questions and go through them individually with him next week... it's just really daunting and confusing and upsetting and... well... frightening.

I'm glad I have more choice and control though this time round, I'm just scared that they will decide I can't make decisions for myself and will section me regardless of what I think/feel... feeling pretty vulnerable I guess, and really... just, I don't know how to put how I feel into words right now but I don't feel good.

And, regarding your p.s - that made me smile. Thank you also for making me smile!




Sorry this is so long winded, and thank you both again for replying and being so lovely and understanding, it means a lot a lot a lot.

x