About this Keith situation, you can't let a 15 year old child manipulate you. I'm not sure what you need him to forgive you for. You got sick, that happens. Sometimes people get sick and sometimes they can't take care of their children, and they say and do things that they wouldn't do otherwise, it happens. It doesn't mean that it's your fault. You have to let Keith come to you, and you have to take care of yourself in the meantime. Teenagers have ups and downs, he'll figure it out in time. All you can do is keep loving him, even if he won't talk to you. I know it's hard but you can't get too caught up in his drama. He has to learn from his own mistakes.
About the ashes, maybe if you aren't ready to let your father go yet you could keep him in a place that isn't quite so close. On the table where the cats can knock it over doesn't sound very secure, and I can't imagine how painful it must be to have that reminder so accessible.
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