hi. im in a very similar situation to you atm and finding it hard to cope with. i recently agreed to move in and marry my partner, i was all excited then about a week later i totally started freaking out and kept changing my mind. its gotten really bad over the past few months and now im spending time alone, hating him and pushing him away. we have had lots of chats about this, he understands bpd but doesnt totally egt it, he blames himself which makes me feel really guilty and awful. i dont think having bpd means you will screw up the marriage and seven years is longer than a lot of people stay married for these days anyway. as long as you are both happy thats all that matters. after that long together im sure he knows exactly what the real you is like and loves you anyway. try not to be down on yourself, and just focus on the fact the highs are so good. everyone has downsides to their relationships and probably dont have as much good as you. im sure he must have his downsides too, and you still adore him? i hope it goes well for you and keep up the talking
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