Originally Posted by
MagpieBlues
Hiya,
I can see why that would be an extremely scary situation for you to be in. It's not surprising that your getting some of the same feelings as you were before. Do they feel the same intensity?
Just try to remember that you managed to survive the real thing, so if you can manage to survive that then you can manage to survive this. I'm definitely not saying what you're going through isn't horrible - I'm just trying to remind you that there is hope.
Do you feel you would be able to go to the doctors and tell them how you're feeling? Or maybe call a crisis line? If you type into google 'rape crisis line' then some numbers will come up. They will understand how you're feeling.
Maybe you could use the support your girlfriend wants to give you and talk to her?
Also it's really important for you to look after yourself right now - have nice hot baths with bubbles or wrap up in a blanket and watch a film. Treat yourself. You deserve to be treated - what you went through was awful and you deserve to look after yourself. Make sure you are eating and sleeping still (as best you can) because if you stop doing these then it can sometimes make things worse.
It's just difficult to talk about. I've thought about calling one of those hotlines, but I was under the impression that they where for people who are dealing with rape that happened recently. I was assaulted almost five years ago. I never told my doctor what happened, I'm not sure if it would matter at this point. It was intense at that moment while it was happening. It's not as intense now, but I feel like I'm back to square one with my depression. I'm in a fog again. The feelings come back a few times a day, but they aren't constant. When I don't have those intense feeling I just feel depressed. Everything is grey again. I was seeing in color just a few days ago, now I'm back to grey.