[Too Shy]

They think that my dad, my lovely lovely daddy, might have cancer. It's not confirmed yet, he has been referred to the specialist hospital up in London. But that is what they think.

I don't know how to do this.
I don't know how to go through this again.

I am trying to hang on to the hope that is has not been definitely confirmed yet, it might not be. But at the same time, it is what they think and so at the moment we have to go with that.

We lost my wonderful mummy in August 2011 to cancer. It has only been 16 months since my mummy died. It was only two years before my lovely mummy died that my nan died from cancer.

I know it is different. My mum had a type of cancer where the prognosis was always very very bad, the survival rates were very low. This is different. The survival rates are higher.

But I am so terrified. I am so so so scared and I don't know what to do, it just hurts so much. I watched my lovely mummy deteriorating and fading and in so much pain and so sad about everything, and I am so terrified that my dad will have to go through all this too.

I don't know when they will be able to tell us for definite, and I don't know how certain they are, I just know that they think it might be.

I could really, really do with any kind of support.
Sorry for length/thank-you.