just realized where there might be confusion here: there is private messaging on the main site, which is like email. a different thing is private messaging in chat, which is like IMing, but through the sites chat thing. you click on a person's name at the side, and then choose whisper (which will show what they say on the main chat feed on your screen, but it isn't showed to anyone else) or click private chat, which will open a new tab for the conversation and no one else will see it. personally i find that easier to keep track of, cause i don't have to remember to click whisper each time. those move just as quickly as the regular chat, so it is easy to have a conversation.
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