i think it can be both at the same time. like thumbelina said, when i'm feeling like that i tend to think of it as passively suicidal (whereas actively suicidal would be out to actually do it in the near future).
however, you deserve support, and you deserve it now! you don't have to be on the verge of killing yourself to need help. think about physical ailments. you wouldn't say that someone with strep throat shouldn't get antibiotics because they don't need their tonsils out yet. getting the treatment sooner can prevent more serious actions needing to be taken. it is easier for everyone that way, and saves the sick person a lot of pain... it is the same here. you're certainly struggling now, and seeking help before you hit full blown crisis is usually more effective than trying to put everything back together after it has all blown up
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