I get what you mean. I guess these thoughts and feelings become so ingrained that it feels like there is nothing to get better from, or that thats just the way it is - because nothing seems to help or get rid of them.
I feel the same too - I just dont want to be alive, regardless of how I feel. And I dont feel that I need to justify it, as its my decision, my choice, my body.
I still think you should go though, cant hurt to try. x
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