It sounds as though you had a really terrible day, Jess. I know that feeling weak and exhausted must have exacerbated the effect that the PowerPoint had on you. I just want to say though - sorry to be blunt - that you're noticing that you feel weak and exhausted and that you keep getting odd cravings for Marmite and Oxo Cubes. That's your body crying out for nutrition. You can't function on air and so you should stop trying to. Okay, food's scary, but we need it to survive, to live, and, although you're surviving right now, you aren't really living. Logically, it makes sense to eat something, even though you don't want to.
Weight goes up and down. It fluctuates extremely - I don't think there is anybody in the world who doesn't experience that type of issue!
Perhaps, instead of being terrified of messing up university, you could try to make the most of it. Okay, so you are scared you're taking up somebody else's place, well, if university thought that then you'd be kicked off the course and help wouldn't want to support you but they do and you do deserve the support. Then, if you make the most of it, you won't feel so guilty.
You're not rambling. Take care.
|