[TinaRapson]

*Might be triggering*

I'm very insecure about the scars on my arms and legs to the point where I'm in tears over how horrible they look. I even burned over a word I carved into myself before because it was really getting me down constantly having to look at it. I never show them, not even to the friend who knows I self harm. I think they're really ugly and I'm scared people will judge me for them so I do everything necessary to keep them hidden and it can be really difficult to just live normally sometimes.
I also find my own scars triggering sometimes. When I feel like self harming I tell myself that I already have scars so what difference will it make if I add more? And then I always feel guilty after a few months because the older ones don't look as bad and might not have been noticeable but I ruined it by making more.

I was considering plastic surgery to get rid of them if I'm able to stop for a year but was wondering about hoe much it would cost? I'd be happy with just getting rid of scars on my arms but would it cost more to get my tummy and legs done too? Also I have a few scars that I think are hypertrophic scars I'm not sure, they hurt, stick out a lot and are red, would they be able to remove those because I think they're fairly deep?
I live in the UK and I'm in full time education so would I be able to get it for free from the NHS?

Sorry if some of this doesn't make sense, it's quite late so I'm really tired.