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twisted-mirrors · 29-09-2012, 07:27 PM

Hey,
I went through sexual abuse 2 years ago, and after spending most of these 2 years in denial(of course suffering the aftermath without understanding why I'm changed), I finally got to a point where I couldn't handle the prize of denial anymore.

That was 2 months ago, and without noticing how I had fallen into a trap of depression and self-rejection. So I knew I had to work on things. I will tell you this. Traumatic past IS like a can of worms. Don't open it before you are ready. But from what you said(the panic attacks etc, and just the fact you are wondering if it's the time) I think you are ready.

It won't be easy, and you will keep questioning if it's right to do it, even as you start doing it...but it will be worth it. I have not yet finished my recovery, but there have been significant good changes, that I wouldn't have achieved otherwise. If you open up the past, and get scared, keep going. It's worth it. You have the effects of it, even without thinking about it. So choosing to recover and work on it will be hell, but once you're done with it, it will be so worth it, I promise.

But, if you do decide to do it, make sure you have good support group. Now when I finally started working on things, I started clearing myself from it. I made a blog about my recovery(in my signiture), and found out that there are a lot of people out there going through similar things. It's priceless to discover there are others whose way of thinking has been altered as significantly as yours, and that you are not alone. Thousands of people go through the same thing, and it sucks, and it's hell, but it's manageable. You can recover, and you can have a better life. Also, I did share(finally) what happened with some of my closest friends. 2 years ago, I was too ashamed to even admit it to yourself. But what happened was that I got their unconditional support. If you choose whom you tell wisely, that can be of great help.

And last, don't be afraid to go into the past...but beware that it will be hard. If you have overloaded schedule, take the recovery process very slowly, 1 tiny bit at a time.
Be strong! You can do this!

If you ever need to talk, PM me.

Many many hugs.

29-09-2012, 07:27 PM	#7
twisted-mirrors Join Date: Nov 2010 I am currently:	Hey, I went through sexual abuse 2 years ago, and after spending most of these 2 years in denial(of course suffering the aftermath without understanding why I'm changed), I finally got to a point where I couldn't handle the prize of denial anymore. That was 2 months ago, and without noticing how I had fallen into a trap of depression and self-rejection. So I knew I had to work on things. I will tell you this. Traumatic past IS like a can of worms. Don't open it before you are ready. But from what you said(the panic attacks etc, and just the fact you are wondering if it's the time) I think you are ready. It won't be easy, and you will keep questioning if it's right to do it, even as you start doing it...but it will be worth it. I have not yet finished my recovery, but there have been significant good changes, that I wouldn't have achieved otherwise. If you open up the past, and get scared, keep going. It's worth it. You have the effects of it, even without thinking about it. So choosing to recover and work on it will be hell, but once you're done with it, it will be so worth it, I promise. But, if you do decide to do it, make sure you have good support group. Now when I finally started working on things, I started clearing myself from it. I made a blog about my recovery(in my signiture), and found out that there are a lot of people out there going through similar things. It's priceless to discover there are others whose way of thinking has been altered as significantly as yours, and that you are not alone. Thousands of people go through the same thing, and it sucks, and it's hell, but it's manageable. You can recover, and you can have a better life. Also, I did share(finally) what happened with some of my closest friends. 2 years ago, I was too ashamed to even admit it to yourself. But what happened was that I got their unconditional support. If you choose whom you tell wisely, that can be of great help. And last, don't be afraid to go into the past...but beware that it will be hard. If you have overloaded schedule, take the recovery process very slowly, 1 tiny bit at a time. Be strong! You can do this! If you ever need to talk, PM me. Many many hugs.
twisted-mirrors Join Date: Nov 2010 I am currently:	My Blog about Trauma & Recovery:http://seekingafrica.wordpress.com/ "It's astonishing, numbing, to find out that inside you, there is a stranger. One that has your arms, your legs, your eyes. A sleepless, restless stranger, who keeps walking, keeps eating, keeps living..." The Brave One Movie(2007)