I just wanted to leave some cuddles.
I can relate in terms of self harm being life threatening and pretty much fucking a lot of things up.
But also, I too blood let, fortunately, I have resisted the urges much better than I did before.
As far as I was aware, the only person I researched who ever did it, died. And since then, I've not really seen anyone else experience it. I was kind of relieved to know I'm not alone in this.
However, I wish nobody knew the suffering involved with any method of self harming.
It's dangerous and addictive and destroys you utterly.
The problem is here, is that not only are you cutting, which is a danger in itself and causes blood loss, majorly if you hit veins or arteries and manage to survive it, but blood letting also, obviously, causes blood loss too. And doing both is extremely dangerous, which by now, I'm sure you're aware of.
I was wondering if maybe you have discovered anything that helps you when you have urges? Distractions that you've found really work better than you thought they would, or better than other forms of distractions?
If you can't seem to stop yourself from self harming, I'm not sure if you've heard of it before, but at least try harm reduction. It basically means reducing the harm you do to yourself as much as you can, if you really can't not do it.
I'm assuming you are prescribed iron pills, so I'd try to take them and try to reach out to people as well, rather than act on your urges.
If you're like me though, and find it difficult to take your pills[I find it difficult to take pills that are there to help me like my iron pills or antibiotics], for whatever reason, you really do have to try and force yourself to take them.
However, if you aren't, ignore the above advice :P
It's not an overreaction when people say you could end up dead. You really could.
I always think people are overreacting when people say I may not survive the next self harming episode/I'll end up dead, but deep down, I know it's true. You may think "oh it won't happen to me", but it could. Try to bare in mind just how dangerous self harm is, and try to fight back against the urges.
Maybe write a pros and cons list? Or stick up on your wall positive things so you can read it whenever you like, especially in times you're struggling?
Try to resist, and try to keep fighting.
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